Welcome back to your monthly brainwashing
session with the Reverend Black Grape.
We’ll begin by saying a few prayers,
then proceed straight to the Chapel
of Local Love for garibaldis and cream tea.
If everyone would please bow their heads…

Dear Lord of the Local, who art in all
those crazy little places dotted around the
UK with names like Piddle Brook,
Sandy Balls and Bummers Hill,
give us this month our daily dose
of nonsense, and forgive us for clogging
up our airtime with Brand Builder and
Image Plus, as we would forgive
those who take low yield levels.
And lead us not into hard-to-get-out-of
cul-de sacs and hamlets, but deliver
us from the evils of those nasty GCap types.
For thine is the kingdom, the power and
the glory (and don’t we bleeding well know it),
for ever and ever (F Nora). Amen

Right, crack open the jammy dodgers
and settle down to a main course of
local news, new starters, exclusive diary
extracts from a Black Country megastar
and a chance to get even closer to
God this month in our competition.
Plus much, much more…

Please give generously when
leaving the church. My roof needs fixing

Keep Life Local

The Editor